Things my Wife Says

In no particular order:

"You're standing there like a mountain."

"That? That's yesterday's snow."

"I am not a 'D' train!"

"Man thinks. God steers."

"AAAARG! I don't know where to put my egg!

He was hopping in a triangle!

In response to my saying I will be attending, but won't be presenting, at a security conference: "Well, you don't have to have your mouth open all the time, you can listen, sometimes, too."

"You're standing there like an ox in front of a mountain."

"I have no problem jumping over my shadow."

There'll be more. Ohhhh, there'll be more.

The Basic Rules

Rule Number One: Never wake a sleeping German

Rule Number Two: Germans don't do whimsy (Thanks, Ken MacBeth)

Rule Number Three: It's not a German loaf of bread until it's capable of inducing concussion when used as a blunt force object (Thanks, @shrdlu